mate game

On the WBAM FM morning show in Chicago, the
DJs play a game where they award winners great
prizes. The game is called "Mate Match". The DJs
call someone at work and ask if they are married
or seriously involved with someone. If the
contestant answers yes", he or she is then asked
3 random yet highly personal questions. The
person is also asked to divulge the name of their
partner (with phone number) for verification. If their
partner answers those same three questions
correctly, they both win the prize.

One particular game, however, several months ago
brought the City of Big Shoulders down to its
knees. Anyway, here's how it all went down.

(18SX alert below!)

DJ: "Hey! This is Edgar on WBAM. Have you ever
heard of Mate-Match'?"

Cont: (laughing) "Yes I have."

DJ: "Great! Then you know we're giving away a trip
to Orlando, Florida if you win. What is your name?
First only please."

Cont: "Brian."

DJ: "Brian, are you married or what?"

Brian: "Yes."

DJ: "Yes? Does that mean you're married or you're
what?"

Brian: (laughing nervously) "Yes, I am married."

DJ: "Thank you. Now, what is your wife's name?
First only please."

Brian: "Sarah."

DJ: "Is Sarah at work, Brian?"

Brian: "She is gonna kill me."

DJ: "Stay with me here, Brian! Is she at work?"

Brian: (laughing) "Yes, she's at work."

DJ: "Okay, first question - when was the last time
you had sex?"

Brian: "She is gonna kill me."

DJ: "Brian! Stay with me here!"

Brian: "About 8 o'clock this morning."

DJ: Atta boy, Brian."

Brian: (laughing sheepishly) "Well..."

DJ: "Question #2 - How long did it last?"

Brian: "About 10 minutes."

DJ: "Wow! You really want that trip, huh? No one
would ever have said that if a trip wasn't at stake."

Brian: "Yeah, that trip sure would be nice."

DJ: "Okay. Final question. Where did you have
sex at 8 o'clock this morning?"

Brian: (laughing hard) "I, ummm, I, well..."

DJ: "This sounds good, Brian. Where was it at?"

Brian: "Not that it was all that great, but her mom
is staying with us for a couple of weeks..."

DJ: "Uh huh..."

Brian: "...and the mother-in-law was in the shower
at the time."

DJ: "Atta boy, Brian."

Brian: "On the kitchen table."

DJ: "Not that great?? That is more adventure than
the previous hundred times I've done it. Okay folks,
I will put Brian on hold, get his wife's work number
and call her up. You listen to this. ( 3 minutes of
commercials follow.)

DJ: "Okay audience, let's call Sarah, shall
we?"(touch tones...ringing....)

Clerk: "Kinkos."

DJ: "Hey, is Sarah around there somewhere?"

Clerk: "This is she."

DJ: "Sarah, this is Edgar with WBAM. We are live
on the air right now and I've been talking with Brian
for a couple of hours now."

Sarah: (laughing) "A couple of hours?"

DJ: "Well, a while now. He is on the line with us.
Brian knows to give any answers away or you'll
lose. Sooooooo...do you know the rules of Mate
Match'?"

Sarah: "No."

DJ: "Good!"

Brian: (laughing)

Sarah: (laughing) "Brian, what the hell are you up
to?"

Brian: (laughing) "Just answer his questions
honestly, okay? Be completely honest."

DJ: "Yeah yeah yeah. Sure. Now, I will ask you 3
questions, Sarah. If your answers match Brian's
answers, then the both of you will be off to
Orlando, Florida for 5 days on us. Disney World.
Sea World, tickets to the Magic's game. The
whole deal. Get it Sarah?"

Sarah: (laughing) "Yes."

DJ: "Alright. When did you last have sex, Sarah?"

Sarah: "Oh God, Brian...uh, this morning before
Brian went to work"

DJ: "What time?"

Sarah: "Around 8 this morning."

DJ: "Very good. Next question. How long did it
last?"

Sarah: "12, 15 minutes maybe."

DJ: "Hmmm. That's close enough. I am sure she is
trying to protect his manhood. We've got one last
question, Sarah. You are one question away from
a trip to Florida. Are you ready?"

Sarah: (laughing) "Yes."

DJ: "Where did you have it?"

Sarah: "OH MY GOD, BRIAN!! You didn't tell them
that, did you?"

Brian: "Just tell him, honey."

DJ: "What is bothering you so much, Sarah?"

Sarah: "Well, it's just that my mom is vacationing
with us and..."

DJ: "She saw?"

Sarah: "BRIAN?!"

Brian: "No, no I didn't..."

DJ: "Ease up there, sister. Just messin' with your
head. Your answer, please?"

Sarah: "Dear Lord...I cannot believe you told them
this."

Brian: "Come on, honey, it's for a free trip to
Florida."

DJ: "Let's go, sister. We ain't got all day here.
Where did you do it?"

Sarah: (short pause) "In the ass."

(Long, long pause)

DJ: "We'll be right back after a word from our
sponsors."